22
(via Everything’s Going To Be Okay Art Print by C86 | Matt Lyon | Society6)
maybe or maybe not? :(
38th day
this guy used to be my very dear best friend but now he’s my boyfriend.
but sometimes, i’m reluctant to rely myself on him fully knowing that he might not catch me or be there when i fall.
sometimes, i’m embarrassed to be clingy or needy just like i used to when i have a boyfriend coz im not sure if he won’t get turn off
sometimes, i feel he’s just not there. i dont wanna love him. i repressed my feelings for him. im afraid he doesnt love me as much.
it’s just like investing in something that will worth zero by the end of the time. i know from beginning its like 1 year thingy but how could you stop your own feelings from growing? how could you know for sure that you will not get hurt badly when this is ended?
i want him to be a better man. i want him to be motivated if i’m around to be a good guy. i just wish i could do this without involving so muchhhh feelings toward him. what the hell did i think? shit. i know this is not gonna have happy ending but hopefully it will have a magical story. *if such thing exists
that’s why my current boyfriend used to be my very best friend
(Source: dream-wish-love-hope)
he (?) and I
i never thought even one minute that i could like my own guy best friend because it’s usually a taboo and so far i have 3 guy best friends without any romantic relationship, but this time… it’s different
its started in hangzhou, he started to put smile on his face everytime he looked at me and trust me the feeling was wonderful. he rarely giggle or smile unless he’s really happy but somehow this time he really was. on the second day, my friends and I decided to go clubbing and i know at the moment, i should NOT get drunk since it’s very difficult not to tell the truth when you are drunk. unluckily, i was high. very high until i told him that i crossed the line in our relationship, that this feeling might grow and no longer a plain friendship. and he said, he crossed the line too.
i wasn’t sure what i felt at that exact moment but i can remember he kept holding my waist and i feel complete. but……… is this supposed to be happening? i mean, he is my best friend!! he knows every secrets in my life, shit.
my mom told me dont do the same mistake twice. and i took this seriously since my previous relationship ended up miserably because of the same thing: religion. but i really believe in my God so nothing should come in His way. what is this then?? another test? but i feel like i really wanna be with him.
oh please, im very confused now. :( what should i do? should i just suppress this feeling and pretend this is not happening or.. should i follow my heart and be with him?
Dad
A good dad should take me to eat when I’m starving. Should warn me when it’s raining. But mine is not which means he aint good. :(
